Positivity opens new doors...

(image: Google Images)

This is a bit of a different post for me but with a lot of things on my mind I thought I would conquer the problem that many people from many different walks of life face every single day. Bad things happen to lots of people and no matter how big or small the problem, everybody is allowed to 'grieve' in some way. 

I've always thought of myself as quite a lucky person in that I live quite a comfy, cosy life, have an awesome family and lots of people who really care about me, and I've always done my best to teach myself to be positive, even when I'm having one of those 'off days'. 3 years ago, I sadly lost my Dad and my life changed somewhat. It was an accident and a shock and therefore unexpected, which made it a little hard to dig up any positivity I might have had shortly after losing him. Like every person in this world, losing a parent is possibly the worst thing imaginable and being positive is the last thing on your mind after experiencing such trauma. However, my Dad was a brilliant role model and a real life-lover and go-getter. He did near enough everything in his life he always wanted to, never hesitated and was always extremely positive and upbeat. There was rarely a time you'd see my Dad without a smile on his face or without him cracking some ridiculously un-funny joke. 

I taught myself after losing him that no matter how much grieving I allowed myself to do, I would live the rest of the years which he unfortunately couldn't, myself. I promised myself that when I felt really lousy and like I wanted to just give up, I would open a new door in my mind and walk through it, just to see what was on the other side.

This may sound like a stupid metaphor but when you think about it, it kind of makes sense. I imagine that when I'm feeling negative and crappy I'm in a dark room, and positivity gives me the key to a door to a bright room. Okay, sometimes the brightness in the next room might not be very 'bright', or may not be bright for very long, but it helps. 

Metaphors don't help some people, and nobody would ever be able to tell you how to cope if you were going through a rough time, you have to figure that out for yourself. But you should never let somebody tell you that what you're going through isn't "that bad", because if it means something to you, that's all that matters. Once you learn how to cope with a negative situation, and what makes you feel better about something, you'll find it much easier to be happy. 

Another thing which really helps me to cope with negativity, even now, is writing lists. It may sound a bit silly and irrelevant but it works for me, and it may well work for other people. When I begin to hate myself and wonder why I'm even on this earth, I write a list of 'Ways to be my better self'. The lists are only occasional, are written on different pieces of paper or in different notebooks or journals (I have many!), and they eventually end up discarded or lost but ultimately they are about altering my current mood and lifestyle, NOT being something completely un-me. It's about making yourself a bit better and therefore bettering the energy you're giving off to other people, because its so easy to tarnish the moods of others with your negativity. 

A list would usually look a little something like this: 

* Get more sleep

* Do more regular exercise, eat healthily and drink more water

* Smile more

* Take care to help others

* Value the great things in life

* Don't hesitate (life's too short)

* Do what you enjoy

* Listen to upbeat music

* Never compare yourself to anybody else

* Take chances (say yes)

* Don't think, just do

The last one is my favourite and ultimately the one that is pretty much always on every list. Its a small portion of lyrics from my favourite band and one of my favourite songs: Snow Patrol - You could be happy. Listening to music is a great way to effect your mood, especially upbeat music to lift your spirits. However, although Snow Patrol's songs sound quite sad and depressing, when you really listen to their lyrics it all begins to make sense. The message they send out in most of their songs are positive messages aimed at altering a person's perspectives on life. 

Remember, no matter how big or small the problem is, if it effects you, its worth thinking about. But positive energy is obviously better than negative, and so ignoring the problem is never the right idea, but dwelling so much on the problem isn't either. So find an inbetween, allow your mind to focus on the problem in a more positive light. Use metaphors and lists, music or exercise, anything you feel helps YOU. Nobody knows you better than you know yourself. 

I hope this may have helped in some way, because I know that when I'm going through a tough time, the positive words and energies of others help me to focus on the best of life. 

'Life's too short' - My Dad

Sophie. 

xoxo